I must explain i am in love with three men
independantly
each profound, famous, friend, peer, mentor................
so often it is hard for me to explain whom and what i am talking about...
not each one is sexual,
not each one is emotional,
not each one is spiritual,.....
and most of all
none are with me exclusive
and i am not there priority....................
when ever i think i have closed the door
on one.......
one of the other find a way to get me
close and then they depart.........
each one says the same thing
i believe in your art........
and will do anything it takes to make sure
you suceed...........
joe is of most paramount
sam is most profound
elias is of most importantance
where do i fit in..........
why iam i exposeing it to the world......
how would they feel..........
would all three close the door...........
do i want to find a way out of this
horrible wonderland.........
am i trying to be alice..........
what potion can i take to feel better..........
i just want to be alone......
but at the same hand i strive
never to be able..........
i wish i could believe there
was one person for me......
we all wish that i know......
there are swans and ducks........
i feel like a pigion just lucky
enough to hang out with those
birds.......
i try to blend in but soon grow tired.......
then the pigions i truely fall in love with
cant understand why i can blend in....
i am not a saint, tramp, or virgin.........
but i often try all the parts....
and just to see how they feel,,,,
there struggles.....
there ambitions.....
i am a lier, hustler, theif and cheat
i was born that way..
but every day i reform my self......
so i dont hurt my self or hurt other people....
dont be honest with the world they say....
but what choice to i have.....
do i really care if at the end of the day
i succeed....in the worlds eyes.....
well let my volume of work speak for its self......
let my blood sweat and tears show
the test of time......
this is my try...
my russion rollet of life..........
find salvation........
trust something other than your ego.......
this is the plight of my kind........
i must make myself up
to a point so i can believe it and perhaps achieve it....
live long enough to prove it..
but everyday i awake i want to drown my sorrows...
everyday i awake i want to be admired loved and needed.....
and my goal is to give the same back with what i have received.....
good bye...........
my three wise men.........
my shineing armour...
my other half......
my natural born lover......
each the perfect vision
of all three above.........
and i ......
welll
me
myself
and i
