i am the drama queen...nothing i write is real..that is why i am a writer...

i am a drama queen
nothing i write
is real...................
everything is made
up ...
not everything
is very very very
real.....
that is why iam a writer...
i lie with out
knowing once i start typeing...
this is the way it is...
this is thw way it always has been.....
i have been very very very
ill lately
bad bad cold
they call it ceder fever....
here in austin
where i have been
for four months...
it all clicked
antibiotics..and medication
no smoking for four days
enough to drive you
insane...well i embrace
it......
i must i am wrong
sometimes
all the time....
i fall in love all the time..
a man so dear
to me is curseing
my name
i can feel it
in the bellows of my soul
they must wait
in line...
pick numbers..
i ve been brakeing hearts
for as long as i can remember
on good days
its grate
somedays
i forget everything
too many
drugs sex and rock n roll
in my time....
coughcough cough
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
cough cough cough
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
i have a show outside
tommorow
a whole bunch of
great great mind blowing
music makers are
going to help
me out
tommorow
as i cough cough cough
gasp gasp gasp
sing sing sing spit
its a four hour show
out side
thank god i write
or mimic good melodys...
the songs i write
have the ability to be
good instrumentals
thank godness for that...
for days no smokes
still sober
no abuse of medication
even though the
stuff they give me
drives me fucken nuts
paranoid
at least
the patch's nicotine
work...
i feel so grateful
today
i have received
so much love...
its so un deserveing
of someone like my self
whom i often feel
always lives at the
very very very bottom
of the earths crust...
swim drown swim drown
gasp for air
swim drown swim drown gasp
for air...
wow so many people
that i love....
so many things to be grateful
for............
its maddness
how self ish and self centered
i am....
ungrateful
i am sometimes
when life is good..
it often has not
been.
so perhaps thats why
when its good
beyond my fucken dreams
i doubt doubt doubt
and go nuts...
i mean
if you read the
posts
before this one you get
it
and if you dont
oh well
thank god
you dont identify
the world is better
for it
love you allxoxooxoxoxoxoxox
xoxoxoxooxxooxox
thank you for your support
and record sells
i really appreciate it..
sincerely
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